30/11/12

Aready 7 month le going to 8 month soon this few month I have suffer a lot of thing like I crying a lot and miss you and suffer hurt and pain from you and you is hat you wan come back ten come you don't wan come back then never come back I don't why and don't even care my feeling and care me anymore before you say before that your heart till gve me that you want to care the person and this is lies I hate you and I don't why you must to change a person not like you anymore and bring yourself never think of other people only think of yourself and sometimes I really no mood an I was thinking how you treat me an yet you did to me like that and now you thinking am lie you and you can lie to me back and revage all the thing to me this is want you wann to do and let me see weather you are this type of person and this is what you do at first don't blame me treat you till like this bad and I getting feeling that you are getting far and far away from me and I am more scared that you won't come back le and maybe cabbage number and do even wann to care me and let me see your sister le but I till waiting fr you to come back to my side no matter how I hate you always my boy that I love the most and no one can steal at my heart and I will not change my mind of getting a better guy in this life I have choose you yet you leaving me you will regret one day de and only have you seriously you are playing me a fool sometimes I keep starting at the sky ask them why must like that Chen fa wo and I aready change to be a good girl that you know me before and I hope that you always at my side protect me ad my side no matter what thing happens I till cannot stop smoking cause I was very sad and I have a lot of word want to tell you but I for have the chance to tell you le I only can write on the blogger and you olso cannot see de and I hide and we are stop texting. Each other since 2oct 2012 I think maybe I always lies you that why you no more trust me again and once and last and end le or you maybe think that I change a person don't even put this word as real only put like shit or you think not the person that you know me before in the past that playing true and dare with you the first time that cute and pretty and smile at you the look at me when I look at you the time.... You really make my holl life so different for me and even through spoil my mood and change my life become good to wrost and become more crazy like a stupid Idoit sometimes I really don't know what you thinking and I don't know I should gve up or let you be happy or maybe continue waiting for you and be the stupid and stubborn girl keep doing the same thing an sometimes I really get crazy over so many thing sometimes I really think that I am alone and I don't want anyone to suffer with me and at my side sad for me that why I don't wann them to pei me out I rather I ownself being alone an I have told myself you are always like that after he had leaving you alway cannot go in the world that you want and alway hide in the dark and no one can even see you cannot even see the beautiful world and place that you have been through you have in this life and this few day I keep sleep very late sometimes 4 till cannot sleep all cause of you an make me more sad in everything that I have and all the thing is you make me like that all your fault I will make your life till like that same as me suffer te thing you never suffer before you wann be happy it seem like I cannot even do it and I tell myself must be stronge at each sec times and like you fall and cannot even stand up and being yourself and try looking down on you and I don't wish to live at this world an fucking nothing I can do I hate this world you always my important person that I never now you and alway in my heart no one can steal from me and without you I cannot even are something and keep doing the stupid stuff in stealing thing so that can make myself more intersting if you know that I doing this thing you will more get angry this is what I now doing all the thing is you make me till I need to do this type of thing and I don't like it is fun but I really don't wann go police again I cannot put you a side and don't care you maybe that I loving you a lot and tht much till kelp put you as my angle an always and I keep pray for you this few day cause I seem keep raining everyday I scared that you cannot take care of yourself and kena the rain I don't wann you to fall a sick and you have to suffer doing your work don't let it happens this moment ad I have ask your friend to past to you that I have talk to him on fbk ask him to take Carr you dot let me worry you every day like. A mad person I believe that you can do it I want you be a healthy and eat more thing and make yourself more stonger I always put your family as my family cause your mum treat me so well till I love her do much and I olso like her she support me in study and try do well in this study and must really do it this is for you life I have started to love your family no matter how I will pray with your family that I can do when someone is leaving you doesn't he will come back to your side or maybe 1 yrs or 2 yrs that work Na see weather you can wait how long this depends on you de this must see you have work hard or maybe can get this heart back and match with your heart this is call love and a prefect love that you have and being together I keep waiting till my tear and hurt have suffer more and more once again and the last and I believe that he will come back my fade have tell me to waiting for his text and what I promise him the thing I still haven't forget don't lies to you and don't with boy and always remember this cannot fuck pray to god I hope that you really can help me once and last time I promise that I will not do it again how I wish you can take care me when I was about to sim at this time and stay at my side till my sick recover and I wish you can hug me when I was cold and I think my sick will be all right soon and become a normal back he is the right Person and softhearted no matter what I will support you and jiayou for your working and no matter how hard you olso can manger to do and work hard you can do it de wong Shau Hwei alway thinking of him I will go the place that we have been and that is our memory for me and him and reflex what you haw did wrong why will happened this type of thing do I have a chance to see you and forgive what I have did wrong I keep asking the god this is a good question but no answer

13/11/12

i was at police station at 8 Nov and cause i drunk at night with my friend and i was no mood i buy red wine and Heineken ans i was giddy and anyhow scold people and after that i was awake and i don't why my friend call her mother to come and call police and i going to hide but cannot Le and i wan to go in the police and see and when the police ask me where i live i say i don't know cause i don't feel like going home and till wan to slack awhile and actually i wan to tell my friend that i wan to be alone and stay a side and cool down and relax and i never tell her and when the police come i was too sudden and i feel like going home but ready too late and ten they ready send me to police and after that i was tried with the handcraft and i feel very sad and feel like crying and they ask me to change their clothe and i see all those people at there i feel scared and i feel like ask the people why you at there and after that they ask me to register and ask me to stay a side and wait and ten i put my thing and after that i lock in the room and only i one person and the feeling is that a lonely and no one to talk sia ans lock inside 8 hours doing nothing and i seen i very cold and only one blanket and i sleep and after that they keep change the room and after that they ask a girl to pei me and i have someone to talk to she also same case with me and she is only scared her husband and after that they bring us to see a doctor and 10 plus and we go to the room and tie and after that why the police follow us and we take the police car and we sit there and after that it take a long times to reach the hospital and after that i have a chance to talk to the doctor and after that i tell her all the thing and she need to decided with her collage and after that i take about 3 hours to wait for them and the police say that you need to talk to0 them before you think and after that they will send you to the hospital or maybe go home and i go hospital and my friend go home i think that the doctor not good and she let her go don't wan to let me go and she choose to let me to the hospital and after that he straight away bring me to the scared place that i never go in before when i reach the place i keep cry and my parent want to see me i don't wan cause i was crying i don't wan them to sad also and i stay aside and reflection myself and think why must i drink and why my friend wanna to call her mother to come and the police bring me to the hospital and i keep crying i am fine and a normal people and all the person at there is crazy and after awhile i keep seeing the sky and it look dark and cannot even go out the place and need to lock at there and nothing to do and i see the place only got TV and music cannot stay there and i look like crazy and stress and all the thing i look the next day and i think that they are poor and after that if they notice or wake up and see their self and they will look sad and feel like taking care of them and they look so scarey and they live in their own way and some of them they have children and i wish that i can go out faster and one of my friend also same she come here also cry and after that i say doing cry must take it simple and after that i ask her don't cry before one girl tell me and i wonder ask her to help me and she say will caught by police and send u to jail and i don't wan my parent to see me like that and i think the day was faster and after that i think a lot and i tell myself not to cry anymore and must calm down even you how sad you till need to wait the day till you come out the place and i see that my parent keep coming the place and i feel like crying and give them so many problem in this case and they need to run and come here my father have working and he look sad and my mother crying and my heart was so pain and i don't know what to do and i must tell myself must eat and i everyday pray hard each day and the times is so fast and i have a new friend and we are strong in everything that we have suffer in the hospital and we know already that we cannot do it again and tell yourself cannot come tyo0 the place that you already have wrong and this is the last chance and this few day i at there i never even eat and i can sleep and after eating sleep all the day is like that and i take it okay already and i tell the doctor about my thing and if i think again i will go play with my friend and have a activity or stay at home or listen to music to let me relax and after that wont think so much in him anymore but 4 day when i was sleep i think of him again and i cannot believe i think i love him a lot and he is the important people in my life and i see the doctor at Mon he ask me i am okay i feel better i say okay and after that you can sleep mi say can and ask your parent got come and visit you i say have they decided to let me out and after that my parent see the doctor and i don't know Wat they say and my father tell me that 1 month i very scared and you lie to me and after that i need to wait for 12 plus ten the doctor give me a medicine and it is the sleep thing and i have no sick and after that i feel that i can go out i feel very happy and m y parent also and i feel very fresh when i was out of the place and my parent drive me to the place that eat and me and my father eat rice and eat happily and i very happy and when i reach home i faster text my friend and tell them i am fine and i feeling better and don't worried me and i faster use my hp and home is better ten hospital and i have a lot of thing to do and i was so tired but i go out clement and reborn my hair and after that i meet my friend and i was stranger at the place i go and last i feel lonely again

i writing this is he aready 2 week never text me le and i cry for him and hurt more and keep thinking about him sia and miss hi badly i dont know i can see him ma and it seem like very far far always from me and he do that to me again and all the thing that he say is a lie and i wont believe him anymore and i cannot even trust him le and he promise the thing i never do it and i think he olso never do it ba and i think he dont even care me le and i think alot should i give up or let him happy and have his happeneiss and i can see that he aready with the girl going 5 month and i saw the pic that him and her de i am sad and i keep asking myself i think he wann let me happy ten sad ba and he choose to leave me and find a better girl ten me i really dont know what he thinking about this rs that i with her so long the time and we spend the life i try to text him so many text he never even reply me and i think he got read or maybe change number le and like my sis say if he wann come back he aready come back le and his heart really got me ma and my friend tell me to go home and think if you really wann to talk with her you must think carefully cause after that you must prepare to give him up and cannotchange your mind talk with he camly no threatening no taliking bad thing think about what you want to ask her and think about you wann to say i choose to continue wait for you and i think le if i talk to her olso same thing and i scared i will quarrel with her and cannot talk properly le and slap her and cannot control my temper and the thing cannot settle and make the thing very big and he really play de ma and this is what yopu wann abnd all the thing is over le i will not listen to you anymore but i will wait for you to come back and forver and forever in my heart and last